I’m by no means anti-football, but growing up it just wasn’t part of my life really and, like many things, that persisted through to adulthood. Up until a few months ago I’d never attended a football match, but I’ve now been to three, all linked in some way to baby loss. My husband attends a dad’s support group, Honeysuckle FC, made up of a changing room chat and you guessed it, football. This has brought football into my life, and you know what, I’m not mad about it.

The most recent football match was set up by 4Louis, an amazing charity who support other bereaved families in many ways. They are best known for providing memory boxes to families in their hardest moments. I vividly remember receiving our memory box and unpacking all of the carefully chosen items. Each box comes with a card from another bereaved family, ours was from Louis’s themselves.

Off we went to Everton’s Goodison park and took our seats at the specially arranged match between 4Louis and Honeysuckle FC. Due to its popularity (I hate that this club gets bigger) my husband and I watched together amongst other parents and families. I had a real moment of realisation looking round at those on and off the pitch, that we were all here because we had all experienced the loss of child. It’s easy to recognise this when we are at a support group and talking about our experiences. Perhaps more importantly, when sat in a football ground with smiling faces, brought it home to me that this was something that had impacted us all and there were lives being lived alongside our grief.

The players had names and numbers on the back of their shirts that meant something to them. Some I recognised, but I knew they all had a meaning, just like our ‘Astrid 16’ did.

We talked about the impact that receiving a 4Louis memory box at Alder Hey had with Bob and Tracey, Louis’ grandparents. It was so inspiring to see the goodness that is possible after loss. Seeking ‘survivor stories’ has been vital in helping me navigate my own loss, and the glimpses into the future still serve to soothe in a way that is hard to explain.

The feeling of being around other bereaved families and those who just ‘get it’ helps more than I think I realise. Sometimes I come away with new knowledge or reassurance and other such practical things that makes being around others with a similar experience make sense. At other times, it is the comfort in knowing that they are here, still loving and honouring their children and also able to live in the moment again. I would have never believed that was possible at one point, and these events are reminders to me that we can continue to make new memories with our children, not in the way we expected but we still get to bring them along for the ride.

I wouldn’t have thought that being a new mother would see be become a football fan, but here we are.