A few weeks ago I shared the idea I had with the Honeysuckle support group I attend and the idea seemed to be something that other people liked and felt they might do for their babies, which was nice but unexpected. I also didn’t expect that one of the volunteers who helps at the groups (you never go without a cuppa) asked if I’d like some items for the memory boxes. Struggling with physical ‘things’ to put in the boxes at that point I gladly accepted and was really touched by her offer.

A week or so later I receive a small parcel in the post, or more correctly, Astrid did. My tummy flipped a little to see baby girl’s name on post that didn’t start with ‘The parents of’ and come in a brown envelope. This was a hand written label on a lovely silver padded envelope, complete with a hand drawn heart, in case it wasn’t clear this was sent with love (it was).

I realised then that I could have been clearer when writing my address down, I gave her both our names but maybe should have added ‘baby’ to Astrid, flattered she thinks I could pass as an Astrid though!

I opened up the little parcel and read the note, so thoughtful of her to explain the items and send love. It contained beautiful handmade white butterflies, a recent symbol of our sweet girl to us, a ‘heart in the hand’ key ring where the heart could be kept in her box, sweet white ribbons with a little bear button, something delicate and cute just like baby girl. The final item were six tiny friendship bracelets (one for each of the boxes) and I realised my mistake was a little further reaching than the envelope. Astrid-sized with my name on them, each carefully made. My heart sank. I thought I’d taken such a lovely thing and then it wasn’t right and felt bad that all this effort had been put in.

A little while later I remembered something I picked up at TK Maxx a few days before. At the time I had been specifically looking for cards and other decorate bits for Astrid’s boxes, and I spotted a small jar of letter beads. I’d recently started to make bracelets and just loved the look of this jar full of letters, I didn’t have a specific purpose in mind for it but wanted to pick it up, so I did.

I realised I could remake these sweet bracelets and make them with Astrid’s name, so I did. I carefully cut and restrung the bracelets, being careful to keep the other beads in the same order, I wanted to keep as much else the same as I could.

What started as something that I felt represented a mistake and a way I had let my girl down, turned into something I fixed for her. We didn’t get the chance to sing along together at the Eras tour or for us to make things like friendship bracelets together, but I could do this. It wasn’t ’together’ in the physical sense but it was certainly because of her and for her.

Making the new bracelets is now one of the loveliest things I’ve done for my girl, inspired by her, fixed my mum and now in the memory boxes of people who love her the most. I don’t know that I would have had this opportunity had it not been that was able to share how I am celebrating my girl at a support group I’ve been attending and for a kind volunteer seeking out meaningful ways to support. Accidental friendship bracelets are my new favourite thing.