Mending my nets

Mending my nets is a blog written by Ella as she navigates the world after baby loss. This is a space to share what life looks like now, as a bereaved mother waiting to go to the sea again.

  • Life admin

    Life admin

    While it felt so much was out of my control, I figured I could make sense of my own messes. I set out to cancel an old bank account that I set up years ago and didn’t really do anything other than clutter my notifications and shame of moving it on the never-ending-to-do-list. After some…

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  • The privilege of preparation

    The privilege of preparation

    I wanted a baby for a long time before Astrid was born. Years of waiting (for various reasons), six months of trying followed by a miscarriage lead me to my pregnancy with Astrid. Consequently, I had the time. I was so ready for pregnancy. I was eating well and exercising regularly, I was even taking…

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  • Why I am here

    Why I am here

    Hello, I start writing eight weeks after my daughter was born. I should be knee deep in laundry and desperate for 15 minutes to wash my hair. But, I’m not. Astrid was born unexpectedly unwell and sadly died at nine days old. The grief felt of having a poorly baby who later died is indescribable…

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